is the beast really a beast?

A recent job interview gone good has got me asking myself the question: have I been just as close minded as those corporate criminals I have so wholely distained? Have I been, in a sense, worse than them, in totally swearing them off? in making a judgement call, armed only with my perceptions?

the simple answer is yes.

and now i ask myself, how could i do this, when, with every other aspect of my life, i don't allow myself or others around me to judge based solely on perceptions.

i don't make the stereotypes, but I can choose to let them influence me. and now it might be my time to explore this one and make a judgement based on experience and facts, rather than perception.

Who thought an @ alum could be this close minded? this resistant to a new experience?

silent snowblowing

Snow. I love it. I love the chill it can send through me. I love the color pink it turns my cheeks. I love wearing scarfs and mittens and cool black wool coats.

I don't love shoveling it.

And so, today, as four inches of snow blanketed the ground from yet another wonderful dusting, I got out the shovel once again. After finishing the front walk, my pops started up the snow blower. This usually doesn't happen, as Al is a big fan of getting exercise (even if its not for him), so I was elated. I put my shovel away, sat on the wooden, paint cracked chair on the front porch, and meditated in my immaculate scene.

You know that feeling you get, when the snow just finishes falling? You look outside and think, wow, everything is perfect. its white. its clean. its immaculate. It stirs something in your soul, and pulls thoughts out of you that you never knew were there. Its power. Its innocent. It's freaking nature.

As I watched the trees, they didn't move. It was so calm out. Even the cars that rolled by didn't make a sound. All I could hear was the drone of the snow blower, its constant noise helping me to focus. You know, when you hear something, but you don't hear it. That kind of wild, intense focus. The emotion of the scene threw me for a loop. I felt like me. For the first time in a long time.

The whole scene was very moving. It was a moment to appreciate, a moment that makes you want to cry out to the world - what the fuck are we doing?, a moment to be humbled, to feel insignificant, to be sad, to hope, and to begin, just begin to grasp, what we really are.

The snowblower's drone died. Garage doors were closed. And as I stood up to go inside, a simple plan began formulating in my head. A plan that does not yet deserve to be published, but a plan none the less, and thanks to my moment. I just wish it had lasted longer.

Radiohead's new revolution

I didn't know this, but it freaking rocks: Radiohead offered its new album for download on their website, and asked fans to pay what they thought the album was worth. This blows my mind, in such an awesome way. You can read the full article about it here. Its the future of good music.

Library Card Manna

Like the Isralites were sent Manna from god, so too was i given sustenance today. It came in the form of a library card. My first in years. It felt great to get back in a place filled with scholarly fancies and fantastical adventures. Maybe I should just go back to school...

My new need

We all have needs. Mine seem to center around music. And my new need is for the recently released radiohead album in rainbows. I need it, like the flowers need the rain baby. Now I just need to con someone into buying it for me...

Runnin down the dream

Watching the Patriots stomp on the Giants has its moments...like the half time show. Nothing like a little Petty to infuse some inspiration. Man, that guy can rock my socks off. Thanks to him and his Heartbreakers.

schemes and plagiarized dreams

I've applied for over 100 jobs in the past three months. Job searching sucks. I'm going to become a cult member and brew the kool-aid all day as my job. At least then i could stop licking my finger and sticking it in the wind to try to find some freaking direction.