Have a roof over your head? Help those who don't...

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The more things change...

There seem to be choices all around. Do I "sell out"? or be "awesome"? Do I grow up or make my own reality? Do I march to death or fight it to the last straw?

The more I let this sink in, the more I'm reminded of a really good lesson I learned in India (thanks). It starts with a bad story of mind. I was crying, thinking and expressing that I was no good for the position I had. Someone asked me: "are you with us or against us?" I stuttered and did not answer. I couldn't. I didn't know. Then a wise Belgian woman told me: how can it be defined in such absolute terms like that? How can you allow it?

And I won't. I can make my future...I can make it whatever I want it to be. And that gives me hope when hope is thin.

Not it, just the idea of it

The idea of a job search has started. And never doing a proper job search in my life, I'm realizing just how difficult, scary & exciting it can be. I find myself needing to ask one big question, though: do I pick a job that's safe? that I'll probably have to take eventually? or do I pick one that gets me excited and puts great ideas into my head? Why does it seem that the more research I do, the less possible it is to have a job that answers 'yes' to both questions???

Return to Innocence

Or not.

Madison, here I come.

And I can't get "mama, I'm commin home" out of my head.

Oh yea, and apparently I have my ole wisconsin accent back...which makes me smile...

Detox

I flew into Wisco, after 36 hours in flight. I rode 4 hours in the back of a truck, listening to the mingled conversation of a woman and man discussing life with limited perspective. A little boy slept on my lap. The next day I rode in a canoe and caught my first fish in over 5 years. That was the biggest thing we did...by choice. On the third day, i got gutsy and took the canoe out for a gentle ride all by lonesome. It was the best. Early morning fog on the water, ducks, geese, deer, fish swirls, loons and baby loons, lily pads, frogs, docks, cabins, boats, and me.

In college, when you drink too much, they shove coal down your throat and make you puke. They call it detox.

But nothing beats the nature of the northwoods. it was the perfect detox for me...mind, body, and soul. I just didn't know how much I needed it.

C'est fini

October 4th I return to the world of track meets, school children, sausages, steaks & saurkraut...if I don't blow myself up before then...