What happens after you survive?

A lot of my life, I've been told that its all we can do to survive...and I've been doing just that. Surviving a crazy work load, school load, party load. I've survived a lot of different shit. But now, what happens after you survive? Everyone should be so lucky as to be able to live life after survival...to see what happens when you don't have the pressure of life on you...to see what you're really capeable of when its your choice to get up, and you have no one to impress but yourself. What happens after you survive? You get to define your own character.

Real life, is that all you can throw at me?

Here in NYC, life supposedly moves at a faster pace. I beg to differ. I've never had so much time on my hands. Take today for instance: I took a stroll down Newark ave, looking for hooka coals. I got to finally take in the street that I've been walking down for the past two weeks to get to the train that takes me into the city. Its actually not as scary as I imagined it. Walking to the train every morning, I can't take it in, simply because I haven't yet purchased and ingested my morning coffee from the wonderful Indian dude on 24th and 6th.

Side note: he always seems to find the room for him, his wife, and their two cute little girls in a cart the size of a door. And, as I remarked to Trent and Dennis earlier today, the little girls never seem to be bored...wierd. But seeing this guy every morning has really got me to thinking about immigrants in this country. After a few gulps of coffee on Friday morning, I wondered to myself: Why would someone leave their home just to serve me coffee every morning? Then it dawned on me, he's not here for the menial task of serving me, or even everyone who stops at his cart every morning. He's here to make a better life for those two little girls, who seem to be content to watch me walk away with my coffee every morning. He's here so that they can go to good schools, and have some sort of opportunity. Then, I quietly ask myself why they wouldn't have that opportunity to do that in their home country? And to that, I am constantly befuttled. Who wouldn't want to build schools and programs, and creat jobs for the parental units of these two beautiful girls that just want to have a better life for their kids, maybe even without having to leave their home country, or better yet, their home?

On the way home from the train, its late, and I'm tired from work...needless to say, I'm not checking out the atmosphere of the neiborhood. So, it was nice to be able to spend the afternoon toolin' around the street that I am so frequently on, but never seem to really take in.

But, getting back to the whole point: I had enough time to do that! Its incredible. I wasn't checking out the street on my way home from class, or on my way to a meeting or to the bars, or to wherever...This time, I was checking out the street simply to check out the street...true exploration.

And, having all of this time, I've found out what its like to be bored. I can read, I can work more, or I can twiddle my thumbs. I have done all of those lately. They hold my inerest for some time, but there is still this thought in my head that I'm going to have these couple days during the end of the week, to not do anything. And this leads me to wonder: real life, is that all you can throw at me? I fucking hope not!