The internet, The vadican, The organization

Last night, I really freaked myself out. I couldn't sleep, it was about 1:30am, and I needed something to do: hello new computer!! The internet became a great way to pass the time of the usually unnoticed morning hours. I recently decided that I'd like to start singing again, so I started looking up choirs that I could get involved with in the NJ/NY area. The internets were very helpful...well, maybe too helpful...

At about 2am, thanks to the nature of choral music (usually only performed in churches...eek), I found myself sharing some quality time with the vadican website. For me, religion has always been a really touchy subject. I was raised as a roman catholic, sent to catholic schools for my entire school career up until college, and ended up resenting everything I ever learned about it. Ironic? who knows...all I know is that if the church continues to impact people in the current (or at least 5 yrs ago) way, they will make themselves extinct...look at Europe!

But back to the subject (whatever that is)...
Yea, me staring at a crazy german guy with rings and a large hat that makes him look like an alien from the movie "coneheads" (yea, I was little when it came out, give me a break). I started to weave my way thru some past pope's bios, the cathecism (can anyone spell that word?), the vadican's "secret" archives (right...like they have any secrets posted on the internet), and various other things.

3am rolled around, and my interest really started to creep me out. I'm the type of person to write off any and all organized religion. I think that if you need someone to think for you, you don't deserve to know. Period. So my interest in this was astounding me.

In a sudden burst of self-awareness, I closed my computer...leaving the pope to his things, and me to mine.

Then I realized something: In theory, all these people want to do is to make the world a better place. In theory, that's what I'm trying to do as well. In my short time here, working for AIESEC has taught me that it is a lot harder than you think to keep even yourself in line with the mission of an organization. We need constant inspiration.

Another thought: There is wisdom in age, but there is wisdom in innocence as well. Just because someone/something is older doesn't necessarily mean they are wiser. Age can corrupt and innocence can be nieve.

How do we keep ourselves in check? Be uncomprimising? But then you can't allow for change for the better...But if you change too much, you loose the essence of the organization...of yourself...

I'm sure that no pope was ever a perfect person...hell, they've cannonized popes that stole money, or caused wars. But I'm sure that each pope justified his actions by saying that it was for the good of the church.

Man, I'd hate to be a part of an organization like that...saying that the ends justify the means...WAIT...am I?